Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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