He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
high people should be assigned attendants
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
