Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
