i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
