I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
