You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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