Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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