Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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