I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
