Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
this boner is exhausting
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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