rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
