I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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