Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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