Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
