Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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