I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
