I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
