Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
