wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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