I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
