i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
