whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
