You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
