Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
