I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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