I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
