I could have mohawked her pubes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
