We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
