How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
