A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
