i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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