Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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