go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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