I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
