After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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