Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
