the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
