Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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