Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
