she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
too bad you live with your parents still
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
