yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
