Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
