Acid is not a monday night drug
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
