R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
