I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
