Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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