So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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