I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
