Plan B is the new Plan A
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
