Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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