is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
